I showed up. What happened next changed everything.
Sometimes the most profound lessons come from the simplest decisions.
I'm driving back from Greenville, South Carolina, with two and a half hours of highway ahead of me and a head full of thoughts I can't shake.
The kind of thoughts that demand to be captured before they slip away into the noise of everyday life.
Listen to the Podcast
You can also listen/watch here…
Three hours and fifteen minutes.
That's how long it took me to drive across a state I barely knew to support a friend's leadership event.
Add in the hotel, the ticket, the meals—we're talking about a $2,000 investment and time away from my family.
Was it worth it?
Fuck yes. And here's why that matters more than you think.
The Decision That Changes Everything
My buddy,
, was putting on his Lead Loud leadership series in Greenville.I was already going to be in Charleston for my annual trip with my boys—a tradition where we escape to my father's condo and decompress by the beach. The timing aligned perfectly, or imperfectly, depending on how you look at it.
I could have easily made excuses. I had obligations. My kids needed me. My business demanded attention. All the usual suspects that keep us from showing up when it matters most.
But here's the thing about showing up that most people don't understand: You don't show up for you. You show up for them.
That distinction changes everything.
The Lineup That Humbled Me
Mick's network is dialed in ways that make you question your own game. The speakers he assembled weren't just impressive—they were transformational.
Chris Voss, the former FBI hostage negotiator whose book Never Split the Difference literally built the foundation of my sales process.
Nick Nanton, a 22-time Emmy winner whose creative genius left me with pages of notes from a 35-minute talk.
Les Brown, the legendary storyteller who had me in tears within minutes.
And that's just scratching the surface.
Sitting fifteen feet from Les Brown as he unpacked what it means to be hungry—really hungry—for your why, I felt something shift. Not just inspiration, but recognition.
The kind of recognition that comes when someone articulates truths you've been feeling but couldn't quite name.
The Chris Voss Revelation: Intentionality as Power
Chris Voss delivered a masterclass in intentionality that reminded me why I've studied his work so intensely.
His philosophy isn't just about negotiation—it's about taking control of your life through deliberate action.
"Work for Nos, not Yeses."
It sounds counterintuitive until you understand the deeper principle: intentionality in effort.
When you're intentional about seeking rejection, you're actually seeking clarity. You're cutting through the noise to find the real opportunities, the genuine connections, the authentic outcomes.
I built my entire sales process—the one that took my company from startup to 1,200+ accounts—on this foundation.
The process that consistently closes 85% of inbound leads didn't happen by accident. It happened through intentional application of Voss's principles to an inbound sales methodology.
But here's what hit me during his talk: I've been applying this intentionality to business while letting other areas of my life drift on autopilot. Relationships. Friendships. The very connections that create meaning.
The Nick Nanton Insight: Different Beats Better
Nick shared a quote from Sally Hogshead that stopped me cold: "Different is better than better."
In a world obsessed with optimization and improvement, we've forgotten the power of authenticity. We're so busy trying to be better versions of other people that we never discover what makes us uniquely valuable.
I think about my podcast—jumping around the top 10 in business categories on Apple, sometimes cracking the top 10 across all categories.
It's a little crazy, a little different. I curse. I love conspiracy theories. I'm conservative. I'm sarcastic as hell and irreverent in ways that make some people uncomfortable.
Everyone tells me to stay in my lane, be the business guy, follow the formula. But what if the formula is the problem?
What if there's space for another show that talks about interesting shit across a broad spectrum? Business and aliens and politics and archaeology and psychology and philosophy?
Nick's message wasn't about being weird for the sake of being weird. It was about figuring out what God gifted you with—that intrinsic difference that makes you special—and having the courage to lean into it instead of trying to sand down your edges.
The $2,000 Investment That Paid Infinite Returns
Let me be clear about something: I'm rolling the dice every time I show up. The event could be terrible. The people could disappoint.
The investment could yield nothing tangible.
But that's not the point.
The point is that I now have experiences I'll carry for the rest of my life. Conversations with people I respect. Moments of connection that can't be quantified or replicated.
A notebook full of insights that are already changing how I think about business, relationships, and purpose.
Your car, your house, your watch—none of that shit matters in the end. I love my big-ass Tahoe and my renovated house and my nice watch, but they're just things.
What matters are the relationships you build and the experiences you share with people who matter to you.
WATCH NEXT: How Kris Dehnert Built a $55M Brand Without Selling His Soul
The Showing Up Imperative
Here's what I'm committing to, and what I think you should consider: being the kind of person who shows up.
Not always—that's impossible.
We all have obligations, families, businesses to run. But when you can, when it matters, when the people in your inner circle need you to be there—you show the fuck up.
Even when it's inconvenient. Even when it's expensive. Even when it requires sacrifice.
Because when you know you have people who will show up for you, you can take the risks that create purpose and meaning and satisfaction. You can be vulnerable. You can chase the big dreams.
You can fail spectacularly and know you'll have support to get back up.
The Question That Matters
As I drive these South Carolina highways back to Charleston, one question keeps echoing: Who will you show up for?
Not in theory.
Not when it's convenient.
But when it costs you something. When it requires you to prioritize their success over your comfort.
Because here's the truth I'm taking away from this experience: showing up is probably one of the most important aspects of fulfillment, purpose, satisfaction, and connection.
The people who matter to you need to know they can count on you. That you're a text message or phone call away.
That when they're taking their own risks and chasing their own dreams, you'll be there to witness it, support it, and celebrate it.
That's the kind of person worth being. That's the kind of life worth living.
And sometimes, it all starts with a simple decision to drive three hours and fifteen minutes across a state you don't know to support a friend's dream.
This is the way.
Hanley
P.S. How do you show up?
Finding Peak Podcast
A podcast for unreasonable people seeking unreasonable results.
