The 5-Minute Habit That Prevents 99% of Leadership Failure
The tactical shift to stop the chaos and build a team that would run through a wall for you.
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You're so focused on the WHAT that you've forgotten the WHO.
~ Dr Michelle K Johnston
I once had a leader cry on the phone with me.
She was a killer. A top performer. Hit her numbers every single month. Never caused a problem.
So I left her alone. I thought I was empowering her, giving her the autonomy she’d earned.
I was dead wrong.
She thought I hated her. She thought her job was on the line. She was a week away from quitting when I finally, accidentally, stumbled into a real conversation with her.
My silence, which I intended as a sign of trust, was interpreted as disapproval. My focus on the what (her results) had completely blinded me to the who (the human being doing the work).
This is the leadership crisis nobody is talking about.
We’re drowning in transactions, obsessed with dashboards, and glued to our project management software.
We think we’re leading, but we’re just managing a series of tasks.
…and it’s burning out our best people.
In my latest Finding Peak episode, I sat down with Dr. Michelle K. Johnston, a top executive coach for brands like JP Morgan Chase and the NFL, to unpack this crisis. She calls it being “lost in transaction.”
And she has the antidote.
It’s not another 3-day retreat. It’s not a new software platform.
It’s a simple, tactical, 5-minute habit that, when applied consistently, can prevent 99% of the failures that lead to quiet quitting, missed targets, and team chaos.
“It’s not lost in translation, it’s lost in transaction.” - Dr. Michelle Johnston
Connect with Dr. Michelle K Johnston
Get her new book, "The Seismic Shift in You": https://amzn.to/4qqWqio
Website: https://michellekjohnston.com/
The Benevolent Dictator Delusion
Most of us think we’re good leaders. We have good intentions. We care about our people. We see ourselves as a lighthouse in the storm.
But our teams often see a dictator. A benevolent one, perhaps, but a dictator nonetheless. Someone who is so focused on the destination that they forget to check if the crew is still on the ship.
This is the core of the disconnect.
The gap between our intent and our actual impact.
Dr. Johnston argues that the solution is to make a seismic shift from focusing on the WHAT to focusing on the WHO.
This isn’t a “soft skill.” It’s a hard-nosed business strategy. Because when you get the WHO right, the WHAT takes care of itself.
Here are the tactical shifts we broke down in the conversation.
Shift 1: Stop Using These 3 Words Immediately
Language is a leadership tool. It either builds trust or erodes it. Dr. Johnston gave a simple “stop doing” list that will instantly improve your communication:
“But”
This word negates everything that came before it. “You did a great job on that presentation, but…” All they hear is the criticism. State your feedback directly. Don’t try to soften it with a compliment that you immediately invalidate.
“Just”
This word minimizes the importance of your request and the person you’re speaking to. “I just need you to…” makes a task sound insignificant, which makes the person doing it feel insignificant.
“Should”
This word is condescending and invites judgment. “You should have known…” is a verbal dead end. It closes down conversation and puts the other person on the defensive.
Shift 2: Understand the 5 Pillars of Connection
Connection isn’t a vague feeling. It has a definition. According to Dr. Johnston’s research, connection is when your people feel:
Seen
Heard
Valued
Respected
Appreciated
A simple, specific “thank you” can hit all five of these pillars at once. “Thank you for staying late to get that proposal finished.
I saw how much effort you put into the final section, and it made a huge difference.” That’s it. That’s the 5-minute habit.
It’s not complicated. But it requires intention.
Shift 3: Master the “Keystone Conversation”
How many projects go off the rails because of misaligned expectations? The “Keystone Conversation,” a concept from Michael Bungay Stanier, is the fix.
It’s a single, 10-minute conversation at the beginning of any project to align on what success looks like, how you’ll communicate, and what potential roadblocks to watch out for.
It’s the ultimate proactive move to prevent the friction and rework that kills momentum and morale.
Shift 4: Own Your Calendar, Own Your Life
This was my biggest takeaway.
“Show me your calendar and I will show you your priorities, and it might make you really uncomfortable because the most important people in your life might not be there.”
If your calendar is a series of back-to-back, 30-minute reactive meetings, you are not leading. You are a pinball, bouncing from one problem to the next.
You have no time for deep work, strategic thought, or even basic human needs.
The Rub
The most important WHO is YOU.
You cannot show up for your team if you are running on empty.
Block time for yourself.
Block time to think.
Block time to be a human.
This is the foundation of effective leadership.
This isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being present.
Stop being a benevolent dictator.
Stop getting lost in the transaction.
Start building real connection.
This is the way.
Hanley
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Excellent breakdown of the transaction trap in leadership. The gap between intent and impact gets overshadowed when the urgent drowns out the important, and that Keystone Conversation idea is a gamechanger for avoiding misaligned expectations. I've seen entire projects derail bcause nobody took 10 minutes upfront to align on what success actually looks like. The calendar audit concept realy cuts deep too.