You say you want the truth.
But can you handle it when it’s messy, intense, and unwilling to play nice?
I always feel like I’m holding back.
Like I’m putting a filter between me and you. Not because I want to.
Because I’m afraid.
Afraid that if I let it all out—the full, uncut version of what’s happening in my brain—you’ll run. You’ll unsubscribe. You’ll whisper to someone else, “That guy…he’s a bit much.”
Too intense. Too obsessive. Too honest.
People have used my “intensity” against me since I was a kid. This includes most of the corporate jobs I’ve had as an adult.
Every “Boss” I’ve had loves my ideas, passion, and results, but then will use my “intensity” as a weapon to try and control me.
But, the only way I know how to help is to be exactly that.
To be unreasonable.
To be relentless.
To be dangerously comfortable with being misunderstood.
Maybe you’re the same way.
If you’re subscribed to my content, I’m sure at least some part of you is…
The Truth is a Hard Path
We need to see what it looks like to be fully alive.
To remember what it feels like to go all-in.
To walk through hell and come out standing.
To stare down mediocrity and say, “Not today, motherfucker.”
I’m 44 years old. I’ve been up. I’ve been down. I’ve had my identity stripped, my ego smashed, my body pushed to its limits, my beliefs tested.
I’ve walked away from six-figure comfort because my soul was suffocating.
I’ve stood in front of the mirror, late at night, staring into my own eyes and asking, “Is this it? Is this all you’ve got?”
And still—still I'm here. Not coasting. Not tolerating average. But attacking.
Energized. Fulfilled. Dangerously driven.
Not because I figured out some 5-step morning routine. But because I stopped lying to myself.
I stopped playing the game of being just intense enough to get applause, but not so intense that it made people uncomfortable.
Polite vs Fulfilled
Here’s how I see it…
We drift. We scroll. We distract ourselves. We reach for comfort and validation. We avoid confrontation, but deep down, we’re starving for truth.
Thoreau had it right, "Most men lead lives of quiet desperation.”
We talk about purpose, but we rarely pursue it. We nod at words like “freedom” and “fulfillment” while quietly building routines we can’t stand and habits we know harm us.
We sleepwalk through the only life we’ve got.
…and you want me to be nice?
You want me to be polite while the house burns?
No.
I won’t be polite. I’ll be precise.
I won’t be comfortable. I’ll be useful.
Because if I can crack open your armor for just one moment—if I can jolt your soul back online—then every ounce of this intensity is worth it.
I’m not sure why God made me the way he did, I believe it was for a reason.
Truth Scares the Hell Out of Me
It scares the hell out of me to show you this side.
The version of me that doesn’t sand down the edges. That doesn’t soften the truth to keep you safe.
Because I want you to like me. I want you to stick around. I want to help you.
But maybe that desire to be liked is the last shackle I need to break.
So I’m asking you, face-to-face:
Do you want the real me?
The full, fire-breathing, no-safety-net version?
Because that’s the only version that can really help you.
The dulled version of me sounds like everyone else.
Hell is fitting in, giving in, getting along.
There is nothing magical about fitting in. Sure, it’s safe and comfortable, but it’s fucking boring. Like really fucking boring.
God didn’t put us on this earth of fit in.
That’s why I named my company Finding Peak.
I believe when God puts on this earth, in these bodies, he creates a version of us that powerful, driven and filled with love.
It’s our job, our purpose here in the time we have, to manifest that version of ourselves.
This is my pursuit. As much as I fuck up (and I do , often), it this pursuit that gets me out of bed in the morning.
Whether, it’s building and growing Linqura to help improve the lives of my insurance friends or the interviews I do for The Ryan Hanley Show or the personal shit I do to be the best father, son, brother, coach, friend, and partner I can be…
It’s the pursuit… I fuck love it.
…and if you love it too, you’re in the right place.
The Rub
I’m not here to entertain you (although I hope this is entertaining).
I’m here to provoke you.
To challenge what you’ve accepted. To wake you up to the life you say you want.
If that scares you… good.
If that excites you… even better.
But either way, I’m done holding back.
The mask is off.
And now the question becomes:
What are you going to do about it?
…because what else are you going to do?
Give in? Acquiesce to the trials of life? Be some dialed back version of what God intended?
You’re better than that. You have more to give than that.
I believe.
You should too.
This is the way.
Hanley
P.S. If you loved this essay, my podcast, The Ryan Hanley Show, will blow your mind.